Astyages's Weblog

April 15, 2011

Pigs’ Psalms Competition: My Entry

Filed under: The Landlord's Prayer — astyages @ 8:04 pm

A Prayer for the Pigs’ Arms: The Landlord’s Prayer

Posted on April 14, 2011 by astyages

By Astyages

I did promise a little entry in the Pigs’ Psalms competition, didn’t I? This is actually more of a prayer than a psalm, but since a psalm is just a prayer that is sung, and since I suppose this could quite easily be sung, and since in any case I’m more impressed with content than form, I shall, without further ado, get straight to the point, without any beating around the bushes or any further preamble like some long-winded polly or other, here it is:

The Landlord’s Prayer:

Our Landlord, which art in ‘t pub,

Merv be thy name.

Thy License come;

Or thou wilt be done

On earth, as it is

In Holden Hill magistrates’ court.

Give us this day our daily wedgies,

And forgive us our overdue bartabs

As we forgive you for your flat ale

And watered-down whiskey

Lead us not into the temptation

Of visiting Glenda’s House of Pain,

But deliver us from every evil,

For thine is the Leasehold,

The power and the glory,

Forever and ever,


By T2


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